Then: Not a care in the world (unless I got a stone in my welly).
Now: All the cares in the world, so many, that I rarely get to do anything that I’m interested in.
This could be down to money (or lack of), time, other issues.
Then: Excited, looking forward to everything in life, sometimes, so excited I couldn’t sleep.
Christmas, Easter, Bonfire night, Halloween, birthdays, school holidays, day trips, even football, etc.
Now: It’s always an effort, a struggle, juggling things around, trying to fit things in.
Love seeing the looks on faces, but the buzz is just not there, hasn’t been for some years now.
Will it ever come back? I doubt that it will.
I sigh a lot, I instantly know that whatever is coming will involve me stopping what I’m doing or movement from me.
Belly laugh – when you laugh so much you ache – rarely now.
Worry – worry about things, events and general stuff, far more than I remember doing.
It feels like I’m waiting for a weight to lift, as when a storm comes in and clears the air.
Only then, I imagine, will some of life return to what it once was.
When: 22nd August, early evening.
Nosh: Just had a veg curry.
Mood: Too much to do, no time to do it.